Favorites on Friday - And Potty Training is NOT One of Them

The First Success....what happened? WHAAAA!!!!

Hey everybody.  Coming to you from Poopville, USA.  I am so frustrated!  This week we started the potty training process and for the last two days the twins have been doing so well.  In fact yesterday only one accident from Laurel and ZERO from Maisy.  Then came today.  I can't count the number of accidents (twins = lots of poo poo and pee pee) and Laurel is now refusing to go on the potty!  I just put them down for a nap and I have to say I am in tears ready to just give up.  I have tried to stay positive and give them a reward every single time they go.  Today I even offered a small reward if Laurel would just try....I am wondering if they just aren't ready?!  Any of you seasoned Mom's out there have any advice?  I am at the end of my rope.

I have some favorites, but they will have to wait until next Friday.  It was a night full of waking up babies and then a weird early rising from Norah so I am in need of a nap or at least a rest.

Hope you understand!

XXOO Hannah
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elise (July 30, 2010 at 12:39 PM)  

boo:O(
i hate that you are having a discouraging day!
Leland potty trained really early and easily (i just got lucky) so i don't really have much advice.
my feeling is if they know when they are going to the bathroom then they can go on the potty.
doesn't mean you won't still have those times they just can't stop playing in time, but just take a deep breath, be consistent and keep doing what you are doing :O)

100 Percent Cottam (July 30, 2010 at 12:47 PM)  

how old are they, hannah? i did maya at age 2 and gave up after a bit. then i started again at 2 1/2 and it was a nightmare. by the time she turned 3 she was good, but it took the entire 6 months and was a battle the whole time. with mason, i waited until he was 3 and it was a breeze. could just be a personality thing. potty training is my least favorite mama experience so far. all i can say is...hang in there, mama! but don't be afraid to call it quits if it's not happening for you. i can't imagine doing 2 at a time. you are an AMAZING woman! ;)

The Cottage Mama (July 30, 2010 at 1:00 PM)  

Oh I'm so sorry. I'm afraid to start potty training. Savannah turned 2 in March and I'm just not ready to go there. I give you TONS of credit for doing this with two.

Hang in there. I have no experience whatsoever, but I did read that if they feel badly after having an accident then they are emotionally ready to potty train and if they could care less and just keep on playing, probably best to wait a little longer and try again.

My thoughts are with you over there in poopsville USA (LOL!). Good luck!!

Lindsay

Natalia (July 30, 2010 at 2:42 PM)  

Hi! I'm a stranger as in I've just started reading your blog and haven't left a comment before, but wanted to share here. I'm on a board with moms with bigger families, and several highly recommended the book, "Toilet Training in Less than a Day," that it really works. I have been through 6 trainings but still don't feel like I really knew what I was doing--really flying by the seat of my pants...or was it their pants? ANyway, I still have one yet to train, so when I saw the book second hand I snatched it up. It looks wonderful and I'd really recommend getting it (from the library, perhaps?) To give a slight overview, you set aside a day without distractions (as in get dh to take the other children out if you have them). You get a wetting doll, and together with your toddler you "teach" the doll what to do. Then you start with the child. The psychology is clear and the method is VERY specific with the hows and whens of praising and other encouragement, etc. The method gets them pulling down their own pants and emptying their own pot! It helps children who are not necessarily willing too. When they did their testing on scores of children 20 months old and up, only two didn't learn in 4 or so hours, and those two had fathers who undermined the mothers' wishes to train. I would recommend reading the book. I hope you find something that helps!

Cutzi (July 30, 2010 at 3:07 PM)  

Another first time commenter here....

I don't know that I have any extremely helpful advice but I did want to share this. I have an acquaintance who now has 14! children. Once, on her blog, I read that when her kids turn 2 she just puts underwear on them. Diapers off - undies on. She takes them frequently to try and then, just as you, she cleans up any messes they have. I figured if it worked for 14 kids it was good enough for me. As I'm now heading toward training my 3rd child I've decided that this is how I'm going to do it from here on out. It worked well for my second child and when I eventually did it with my first, he caught on quickly. Summer is prime time to train - especially when they can be outside. I also try and keep the potty close by - in the living room?

Be encouraged - I bet it won't take more than a couple days of frequent accidents and a week or 2 for them to be fully trained. Hang in there!

jacs (July 30, 2010 at 8:44 PM)  

Oh, poor Mama. I'm sorry it's been a frustrating day for you. With my eldest, I tried to potty-train her just before 2.5. She had accidents all.the.time. Finally, after two months of it, I gave up. She was back in diapers. Just one month later, she took that diaper off and went to the bathroom all by herself and never looked back. Yay!

Now if only my second knew that I expected her to potty-train herself. lol.

Good luck. It will happen and this time will pass. They are smart girls. They'll get it. :)

BJ_Mama (July 31, 2010 at 1:34 AM)  

I FEEL YOUR PAIN! My daughter is going to be 3 next month, and we started potty training a few months ago. She was LOVING going to sit on the potty and we had some success...but she woke up one day and REFUSED to sit on the potty! (I'm 30weeks preggo...and I have to admit, I gave up) I just don't have the energy to fight/chase her. So, I hope in the next few months we'll start again...with more luck ;)

Birdie (July 31, 2010 at 8:07 PM)  

I do not miss potty training! My daughter pretty much trained herself, but my son just took forever. I finally decided that he only had one 'leaving the house' outfit every day. He could put it on in the morning, but if he had so much as one accident, he'd have to get into house clothes following that and couldn't so much as go out into the yard to play. That got his attention pretty quickly! I didn't have to lecture, nag, plead, anything once he understood. It put all of the potty training in his court, because he could either do fun things OR soil himself.

Becky Gonce (July 31, 2010 at 9:42 PM)  

UGG>>> In the same boots... I started my 2 yr old daughter last spring... she did good for a week...but I had to tell her to go. Then she got sick and had the runs and we went back to pullups... then about a month ago she said she wanted big girl undies.. she has done much better this time, but still accidents...and it does seem that there are some days she has tons and other days she is dry all day. One granny told me to lower my expectations.... and they seem to know when they are ready.. did my son at almost 3 and it took a week. have you read the book "Potty Training in a day"? i kinda used those ideas. We did end up hosing them off outside for poo...but it only takes a time or two of that and they've got it! Good luck...in 6 months or so they'll be pros at it!

Britta (August 1, 2010 at 12:00 PM)  

DON'T GIVE UP!!! You can do it! You will have bad days and good days with potty training. Isn't that how it is with everything else? Good luck, hang in there and you know you can call for support anytime! Love ya! Britta

herlittlefeet (August 1, 2010 at 6:48 PM)  

I don't know how old your girls are, but the magic age for my kids and my granddaughters was 28 months. I had potty bootcamp at my house one weekend and kept Haily in the bathroom first thing in the morning because she was dry and I knew she had to go. I also provided treats. It took a few more weeks for poop, but it worked out pretty well. Good Luck!!

Beth and Shae (August 1, 2010 at 8:17 PM)  

Oh Hannah,

The woes of potty training. I have heard with twins it is easier to start with one at a time. If one seems more ready then encourage her and the other will either follow because of all the praise or when she is ready. Then you are only cleaning up half the mess.
I remember with Aiden it was a nightmare and so frustrating. We did get some potty toys and that he could only play with while sitting on the potty and then if he went he could play with them for a little while after. That worked for a little while. I finally gave up and I think he was almost 3 and a half when he decided he was ready. I have to say when it was his decision and not mine we never had an accident. Not even at night.
I have also heard from other moms that when they forced the potty training there were a lot more accidents than when it was the child's decision. I would wait a little longer and just do one at a time.

Sarah Kubinski (August 2, 2010 at 6:12 AM)  

Don't give up--or I guess I should say, "don't fret". First, why are you potty training now? Have the twins expressed interest? Is it just because you feel they SHOULD? It's a two way street and once I realized that a lot of the time I was using my schedule and not theirs it got easier (moving to a big girl bed, pacifiers, etc). And it all works out. Our doctor said the later they get trained, the faster it goes (and the better it sticks, earlier training often results in accidents for longer). I liked the idea of doing one child at a time. Once the first is trained, the other will get on board because it's all monkey see monkey do. That said, I found that often after a really bad day (or couple of days), my daughter just "got it". Like she was tired of the accidents too. (It took two tries. She had it down, then we had #2 and she regressed. Now she's great!). It will happen. Just repeat that to yourself. And the advice about focusing on the training is true. Accidents at our house always happened when I was on the phone, or otherwise distracted. Turn off the phone for a day, forget emails and ask a lot if they need to go. Books by the potty are also good. They can sit and read and relax. Good luck!!!!! Sarah skubinski@mac.com

Cowboys Youth Football Program (August 3, 2010 at 12:47 PM)  

I have three daughters and all three trained at different ages. I used M&Ms. Just a few when they went, every time they went. So no new advice but my I have read that if your child has a particularly hard time going poop, it can lead them to refusing to go. They associate that uncomfortable feeling with the potty versus a pamper. Not very helpful, but I feel for you. It will get better. Hang in there.

Shrinking Shadow (August 14, 2010 at 12:38 PM)  

My daughter is almost three. and here is my mostly stress free story.

I was due with #2 in october. Princess turned 2 in September so we tried a bit during the summer but it was a no go so I waited til #2 was here and tried a christmas break. Some progress and no accidents but then just like your girls she refused to go and it started making me feel not so great towards her so i stopped. Then Spring break i decided to put the potty chair in front of the tv and let her be naked in the am and watch cartoons from the potty. She went and it startled her but she got tons of praise and she liked it. It took 3 days and she was completely out of diapers (naps and bedtime too) and in 6 months has had one accident and she was sick at the time. I don't think my way works for everyone but it worked for her. She needed to be distracted for it to work and i realize now that she was not ready the times i tried before. One of her friends who is the same age potty trained her daughter in september and she still has a diaper at naps and bed and her mom now realizes she just wasn't ready. It'll be a much nicer time for all three of you if everyone is ready.

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